|
While I was viewing high school photos, I remember my life during those four years of my life. Things rushed back. And almost all of them I'd rather not remember.
Let's start with 1st year. I remember we have a classmate that, well, wasn't really 'in-sync' with the rest of us. She would turn off the lights during lunch and recess, she barely talked to anyone in the room. One time, she turned off the lights during lunch, I heard someone shout, "Bawal baliw dito!" or something like that. My classmates act like they belong in grade school, and I was no different. We tease people different from us. We tease people that we know would not retaliate in any way. Maybe that's why I was teased as well.
I never get angry with anyone. As much as possible I control my emotions in order to save me and everyone else the trouble. In short, I was stupid. I was stupid to let them heckle me all they want. I allowed them to tease me and I would just get red in my seat. I was stupid that I wasn't the sadistic bitch I am today.
Then second year came. I was part of our class' cheering team. I don't know why I joined in the first place. Our choreographer was this girl who made us do squat jumps when we couldn't get the steps.
"We're like, paying you to teach us. What right have you got to order us around?" I wish I could have said that. How I wish. She also had this gay guy with her that sarcastically told us while we were being 'punished', "kaya niyo pa?" or something like that. I can't be expected to rememer the details. I was mercilessly teased when I make mistakes during practice. They would copy me and laugh. I don't see them doing that to the other members. They 'force' me to stay until nightime for the practice session, telling me, "malapit lang naman bahay mo eh, may sundo ka pa." They didn't care about the driver that was waiting for me at the car since 3pm. They didn't realize that my mother was waiting for me at home. I was 15 years old back then. Kung ngayon nga hindi mapakali nanay ko pag wala pa ko bahay ng 10pm, eh ano pa kaya noon?
We did win the preliminaries. After that, I stopped attending practice sessions. I had enough. I don't answer any texts, or missed calls. When confronted at school, I merely told them that my mom stopped me from going to practice. So in the end, I was removed from the roster. Goody. My first scheme complete.
The classmate I was talking about during freshman year was once again my classmate during sophomore year. And it was this time that she cracked. She left the school during the middle of the year. I don't exactly remember what happened, but I can still hear our adviser's words, "Siguro masaya kayo at wala na siya." If only our class could've been more sensitive. More compassionate. But no. Being different means weird to them. To me. I really can't say na hindi ako ganon. Kasi nakikisali ako eh. Kasi nakikibagay ako sa kanila.
There was also this incident during our intramurals. My powder fell from my bag, and someone picked it up, and my classmates teased me for having it. ANONG PROBLEMA NIYO SA POWDER?! This someone dusted the powder in front of me. I should have done something then and there, but I was stupid. I was naive. I was scared to get into trouble. I merely walked away. STUPID ME. There were lots more. Like the time they asked, no forced, me to buy a CD for our history presentation. They told me they were too 'busy' EH AKO HINDI AKO BUSY? MGA GAGO.
There was a lot of superficial people during my high school. I'm not saying all, but there were a lot. Material things impress them. They believed they were cool. They believed they were better than anyone that's different from them. That's what I believe.
I can't write anything about my last two years. I was happy from then on. Especially during my fourth year. :D
Bahala na sa mga tao na makikita ang sarili dito. Ibig sabihin lang non, guilty ka. Wala namang pangalan, kaya kung matamaan kayo, eh di mas okay. At least may conscience pa din kayo kahit papaano.
1. A HOUSE IN ANY EXCLUSIVE VILLAGE IN THE METRO. Must have at least 7 rooms. 3 of which will be converted into an indoor pool, a gym and a playroom.
2. A RESTHOUSE IN FIJI. Must be a bungalow. It must have a pool, a tennis or badminton court, a spa and a magnificent view.
3. TWO CARS. One will be chauffeur-driven and the other for personal driving. The former must be an SUV or something that starts with L and ends in EXUS. The latter must start with either an M or a P and ends with ERCEDES and ORSHE respectively.
4. CAREER. I will keep my career. No matter what.
5. A SUNSET WEDDING. It must have a sunset. It must be perfect. It must be flawless. At least a dozen photographers. 4 will be focused on ME.
6. A PERSONAL CHEF.
7. A WALK IN CLOSET. It must have a computer that can give me access to all my clothes and accessories and should be able to tell me which outfit to wear every day.
8. A DOG. I can leave all I have to it once I'm gone. I don't like kids.
*Because I'm tired, I will end this. NOW, WHO WANTS TO GET MARRIED?
 | ONLY. | May 12, '09 1:28 AM
for everyone |
60 HOURS LEFT. In a way, it's bittersweet. I want my OJT to end quickly so I can enjoy summer like the hot-blooded teenager that I am. On the other hand, I don't want my OJT to end because I'm having fun. Everyday is full of laughter inside the office. I consider myself very lucky to have had my OJT in SummitMedia. I don't have to stress about waking up early to make the calltime. I can go home whenever I want, as long as I tell my bosses. I can be absent as long as I tell them in advance. Yesterday we cleaned our side of the office. Normally interns do those knd of things, but my bosses helped us, making it much easier and more fun. We managed to straighten out the mess in a day. Only 60 hours to go. :) Two weeks at most. :)  AGENDA SETTING my to-do list for the remainder of my practicum
doodles during the meeting
email.email and more email
with the occasional faxing. time to get serious. winners can't win their prizes without the prizes. "I'm saving up for..."
I never really understood a sentence when it began with those four words. Ever since I was young, I get what I want without having to save up for it. I do a little waiting, a little whining, a little tantrum-throwing, but I never ever saved. There was something in me that told me to spend every money that crossed my palm, whether it be 10 or 1000. I look on to my classmates when they talk about their savings. When they talk about their bank savings. I never had a successful bank savings account. My savings account was closed after a few months. I never really know where the money went, I only knew that once I step inside Toy Kingdom's castle foyer at SM Megamall, everything becomes a blur. I don't even know my own mother until it was time to pay the cashier.
That was during my childhood. I never understood the meaning of money. All I know is that when one of my relatives comes to Manila, it meant money. Nothing thrills me more when being handed a crsip 1000 bill. My cousins and my sister would keep it in their little alkansyas, whereas I would be heading to the mall the very next day.
I still do handle money terribly. I love handing over my ATM card to the cashier. I love the EPS of BPI. I love keying my pin in that green backlit keypad. There are still things that I want. Things that I think I need. But now, "I'M SAVING UP FOR..."  I PROMOTE. Wala na kong ginagawa.
Pinapahaba ko lang ang oras ko dito
Sayang ang hours. | TAXI. | Apr 21, '09 12:01 PM
for everyone |
 SA*BONI*AVE*PO hindi na ko magtataxi papuntang OJT
masyadong magastos
MRT here i come | NAUDLOT. | Apr 21, '09 11:50 AM
for everyone |
 the noise
the mess
the dust
the hassle... it's kind of fun. | JOLI. | Apr 19, '09 3:33 AM
for everyone |
 TENTENENEN. IT'S COMING BACK. It's been a while since I last updated. I guess I have too much things on my mind to even think about typing them down. Holy Week is over. Time for working people to get back to their routines. And this year, I'm joining them, that is, until my 200 hours of OJT is over. I spent my Holy week, or at least half of it, in Basilan. The recent kidnappings of the Red Cross people did not deter nor discourage my family to visit, since my grandmother was the one who requested we go. It was unusual to listen to an old lady rather than the news but my grandmother would never allow us to visit if there is a serious threat in our town. The flight was short. I enjoyed waiting in NAIA 3. There were many food stalls and booths. I wanted to have some of the gelato a store was selling, but alas, it was our boarding time. We arrived in Zamboanga and headed straight for my tita's house to have some breakfast, after that we went straight to the cemetery to visit my grandfather's grave. Next we headed straight for our house. It was new so there were no furnitures except for a plastic table and two monobloc chairs. I was relieved to arrive at the house because of the heat. It surpasses the heat in Manila. Swerte pa din tayo. We took the ferry to Basilan, which was a long and brutal journey. The airconditioners were not up to the task of cooling the people inside the cabin. Damn. Fortunately, we arrived soon enough and headed straight for our house. There was a detour along the way, something about trying to protect the church from being bombed during the Holy Week, so bawal dumaan don. Lalo na mga naka-motor. So we took the long way. It was hot, again. I can never complain about the heat enough. We arrived and settled down. Buti na lang may aircon sa bahay. Mamamatay talaga ako sa init. Our usual visits to relatives were not on the agenda, since it would be dangerous to go out into town, when kidnapping rumors are on the rise. Bigla na lang nanghahablot ang mga kidnappers na nakasakay sa motorsiklo. Kakayanin kaya nila ko hablutin ng ganun ganun lang? Baka matumba lang kami. Good Friday. There's a scheduled procession at the church which would circle the main streets of the town. Dapat hindi na kami sasama, kasi may balita na may napatay daw ang mga rebelde sa outer parts of our town. Pero sumama pa din kami, may mga militar naman. May tanke pa nga eh. It was safe, I assured myself. OUR JESUS STATUE. For the next few days, I worked at our pharmacy, temporarily replacing my titas: one was sick, and the other had to run her clinic. Of course, I don' work for free. MWAHAHAHAHA. It was fun. We had our get together at Ron's earlier. It was so much fun spending time with Mangkujiwo again. The entire second semester was cruel to our bonding times. We played video games and cards. It really is the start of summer. I can't believe that I'm going to be a senior next year. My last year at UST. My last year of being a student. Hay, how time flies. Enough of the sappiness. ENJOY THE SHOTS. 
AYAN. WALA AKONG GEL. NGAYON NIYO LANG MAKIKITA YAN. Let's move on. Judy Joy texted me earlier about the Literature grades being available. I called her up and found out my grade. 3 Hindi ako makapaniwala. Paano ako bumaba? Hindi ko magets. Madami din ang bumagsak. Ang weird. Daig pa ang socio comm last sem. EPAL. BWISET. FUCK. DAMN. It was bad news all right. It ruined my high hopes of being DL. It practically shattered it. OH WELL. After that, I checked my phone. And there it was. The text that I was hoping to get since monday afternoon: "...Please check your emails for the forms that you have to process before you start..." I had Ron read it to confirm. And confirm he did. I finally have an OJT. Yey me. 
THE PLACE I'M GOING TO SEE FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. It almost totally balanced out my frustrations over my Literature finals. ALMOST. | SIMPLE | Mar 24, '09 7:13 AM
for everyone |
KEEP IT SIMPLE. | HAY. | Mar 23, '09 11:46 AM
for everyone |
WALA PA DIN NAGREREPLY SAKIN MALIBAN SA SUMMITMEDIA. Ganito ang ginagawa ng wala pang OJT. Nagloloko sa Mall. Sa plasticwares. Kawawang bata. 
ANG GANDA NA NG SM CUBAO. MAY LIGHT EFFECTS PA SILA. SOSYALAN. WOW. BAKASYON NA. Sa dami ng ginawa namin sa 2nd semester, eh hindi ko na naramdaman na tapos na pala. Pwede na huminga ng maluwag. Kahit panandalian lang ito. Quickie lang. May Practicum pa kami this summer. Buti na lang at 200 hours lang. Hindi niya kakainin ang buong summer ko. Summit Media called last thursday. May interview na daw ako sa Monday. 2pm. Sa office nila, na hindi ko alam kung saan. Aalis ako ng bahay ng 11am. Para malaki ang allowance ng time ko. It's always better kung ikaw ang maghihintay, hindi ikaw ang hinihintay. Sana lang makapasok ako sa Summit. Gusto ko sa magazine industry, parang masaya. Hindi pa din nagrerespond ang mga advertising agencies na sinendan ko ng resume ko. I'm not losing hope. Tatawag din silaaaa. Hahaha. Napanood ko ang parade ng seniors kahapon. Napaisip ako. Next year, isa na ko sa mga taong magpaparade. Sana lang isa ako sa mga magpaparade. May iiyak kaya? Gusto ko makita! Graduation time is always tearful. For others. Nagsisimula nanaman ang pagiging magastos ko. Ngayon lang ako ulit nakapagstay ng matagal tagal sa mall. Madami akong namiss. Madaming sale ang nagdaan ng hindi ako nakakapunta. I'm back. With a vengeance. -----------------------------------------------oooo----------------------------------------------------- Naaasar ako sa mga taong gumagamit pa din ng text-style writing sa computer. There's a large full keyboard at your fingertips. Use them! Ganoon na ba katamad ang mga tao? Hindi na ba nila matype ng buo ang gusto nilang sabihin na salita? I don't know. It's understandable on YM or chatrooms. But on blogs and anything else, nakakaasar. EWAN. Ako lang siguro yun. OH WELL. AYOKO NA MAGALIT. Namiss ko ang radio prod dahil sa away namin ng mommy ko kanina. I never imagined ganun pala ako katindi magalit kasi napaiyak na lang siya. Another school year is ending. So many things have happened. We were reshuffled. Just when we were comfortable in our own little world, they took us and plunged us into different worlds, with different inhabitants. Enrollment came, and questions were asked, "anong section mo?" SUCKS. I still remember the first day of classes, with Manj and Chuch, I think, went up front to initiate our first class meeting. Sabihin daw yung name at previous section para makilala ang isa't isa. Ayun, "Adrian Pacific Ong, from 2ca1." Tapos, nagtanungan. Manj pointed at me and asked Paolo what my name is, "Carlo?" Sagot niya. Natawa na lang ako. I have a new name. After that, election na daw. They don't waste any time. Si Gissele Edrada naging presidente namin. During the nominations, Gissele didn't want to be the president. But after she won, Ayun. President na. YEY. Tapos si Wado naging treasurer. He backed out. So Maki took over reluctantly. Socio comm na. Sir Choa asked us, "Give examples of talk shows." No one answered. Nagalit. Nagwalk out. TV Prod na. Nag groupings. Nagkagulo. Nagshoot na sa bahay ni Kevin. Tapos iniba yung positions. Bawal pala mag ulit ng position. Ayun. One day revisions ng groupings, kasi next week first shooting na, wala pang VTR, wala pang OBB, wala pang lahat. Dito mawiwitness ang Cramming Powers namin. Dito nagkasubukan ng pasensya. Madaming beses kong gusto saksakin ang mga kaklase ko dahil sa galit at inis. Pero pagdating ng oras, ayos naman, nadadala, nanonominate. YON. Spanish. Right after TV prod, one hour break. Then spanish. Senora was strict. TV prod usually sucks the energy out of me, so sometimes I sleep in spanish. Buti na lang hindi ako nahuhuli. Kasi random siya magtawag. "senor, como te llamas?" Napagalitan din ako ni Senora kasi nakatabingi ang aking pagkaka-upo. Pangit yung upuan eh. Wooden. Old school. Scriptwriting. Techie si prof dito. May headset microphone. May portable speaker na akala ko dati water dispenser na maliit. First day, nanood kami ng movie. STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE. Ayos, sagad ang first day namin. Wala pa kong sundo. Dito nawalan si Vanie ng pag-asa. Sa final script namin, short ng ilang pages. Hindi na niya mapahaba. Nagtext sa akin na babagsak na daw kami. Grabe. Advertising na. I like this class. There's technically no professor present. Naka-ipod pa yung ibang tao sa loob. Ako may ka-text. Pero natuto naman. Nakagawa ng adver plan for our finals. MITSUYA THUMBTACKS, wow. Filipino. Nagdefense. Naiyak si KT. Nakita ko ang kahiligan ni Jam Consignado sa Filipino. Kaya siguro siya inaasar na para siyang si Ma'am De Castro. Psychology. Naiyak dito si Joselle. Napagtripan kasi kapangalan ang prof. Madaming power-trip ang prof dito. Grabe. Gumawa ng maze. Stupid hamsters tried to bite me. Literature. Masakit ang pwet ko dito. Ang pangit ng upuan. "What can you see in the poem?" The first semester is full of memories. Some sad, some bad, some happy and some fun. 3CA2 was quick to embrace its new members. Madami akong nakilalang bagong mukha. Madami akong naging kaibigan. Loveteams were formed. Usually isa lang ang lalake. Si Maki lang. Pero chickboy, madaming ka-loveteam. Si Celine, Si Manj, Si Miffy, Si Jam Con, atbp. Mahilig siya sa well-built na babae, at sa kapwa niya lalake. Astig siya. IDOL. Nadagdagan pa ang listahan niya, nadagdag si KT at si Vanie. Ang tindi ng kamandag ni Maki. Machicks. CATV Awards was the first competition 3CA2 joined. Awards Galore! 7 out of 14. Ayos. Galing. The other competitions ended with good results. Hindi man kami ang best, may recognition pa din para sa hard work namin. 3CA2, we've been through a lot. And it's only been one year. Next year pa. Let's do our best in our internships. The journey was rough. It was tiresome. It was brutal. But having my classmates and friends with me on that journey made it bearable. LOVELOVE. ;) Sa wakas. Natapos na ang lahat ng competisyon sa semestreng ito. Radio Prod na lang. May CASA RECORD ba? Baka maging contest na din ito. Hala. Napakasaya ko kanina dahil kahit na on-the-spot kami ng blocking sa stage, eh nagustuhan ng panelists. At kahit sobrang coincidence lang na pareho kami ni Maggie ng black-ish ang kulay ng damit, at si Jamelle at Gissele naman ay nakapula, nakakuha pa kami ng compliment: "..I like that you are color coordinated.." Saya. Kahit kanina ko lang ginawa ang powerpoint sa EDTECH, at nagrehearse kami sa backstage ng TARC auditorium, naging maayos ang lahat. Ang makapangyarihang ADVER PLAN na yan. Kagabi ng 11pm, nagkaroon ng last minute changes: Hindi na daw TVC. Radio at print ads na lang daw. TODO PALIT ANG MEDIA PLAN. TODO ANG STRESS. Ginising pa nila ko sa aking mahimbing na tulog ng 11:56pm at binalitaan na hindi na daw TVC. Bumaba ako at nagbukas ng computer ulit, kahit isang mata pa lang ang bukas. Tumawag sa mga taong concerned para alamin ang nangyari. Nagtaray sa YM dahil sa sobrang kapaguran at stress. Napikon. Nagalit. Pero parang balewala lahat nang yun. Nagustuhan ang presentation. Nagustuhan ang plano ng DEUS. Ayos, sakto. Patawad sa natarayan ko kagabi. Sa pagmumura ko. Na-istress lang. haha. ;) LOVELOVE 3ca2. ;)  STRESS NA KO. AYOKO NA. PURO NA LANG COMPETISYON. Natutuwa ako sa batch namin. Halos lahat kilala ko na. Halos lahat nagagawa ko nang kausapin. Ang saya nung faculty show, kahit haggardan (wala naman ako ginawa, moral support lang) eh tulong tulong. May nakausap nga ako nung nag uusher kami, hindi ko alam pangalan niya, nakilala ko lang siya dahil siya nanalo ng best actress nung awards day ng theatre arts. hahaha. ;) Ang galing galing ng class ko. Napanalo namin ang BEST PLAY AWARD ng CASA CAST. Kahit ba isang linggo lang ang preparation. Kahit ba nagkaasaran sa isa't isa. Kahit ba ayaw kami pahiramin ng panel boards para sa set. Nakakatuwa kasi after every practice yata, nagpapray kami as a class. It bought us closer. Ayee. Although nabawasan ang trabaho, hindi pa tapos ng kalbaryo namin. Nandyan pa ang ADQUEST. Biro niyo, binigay yung account namin noong Thursday. Tapos sa Thursday na din ito. Isang linggo lang. Bawasan mo pa yung mga weekend. Bale, apat na araw lang. Sana lang magawa namin ito ng matino. Gusto ko ipakita sa judges, kung sino man sila, kung anong nagagawa ng CA 2008-2009 Junior Batch, kahit na under extreme pressure. Natutuwa din ako kasi nakita ako ang makulit ng personalidad ng mga prof ko. Nasa backstage ako nun, at nakikita ko sila nagpipicturan na parang mga teenager. Pang Friendster daw. WOW. Marunong din sila makipagkulitan. ANG SAYA. --------------------------------------------------------------- Hindi ko masyado maintindihan ang pakiramdam ko ngayon. Hindi pwede eh. BAWAL. OFF LIMITS. PRIVATE PROPERTY. NO TRESSPASSING. MINE FIELD. Lahat na ng BAWAL na sign nakatirik na sa isipan ko, pero iba pa din. Iba ang feeling. AYEEE. 
MARSO 03, 2009 RIZAL CONFERENCE HALL 2:30 ng HAPON ROOM RATE: FREE |
